Valentine Messages

      By Fern Horst

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." (Jeremiah 31:3)

Valentine's Day is coming. And no, it's not too early to think about it, judging from the commercials already playing on the radio, TV, and internet, not to mention all the red and pink that decorate almost every store! It's no secret that businesses take advantage of human emotions and expectations surrounding holidays to increase their revenue. They start as early as they dare to build up expectations even more. I guess that's to be expected - after all, making money is what having a business is all about.

The commercial that stands out to me this year is one where the guy admits to his biggest fear: not remembering Valentine's Day until his wife greets him on the morning of February 14 with, "Happy Valentine's Day, Honey!" How he missed all the reminders until then is beyond me, but it is, after all, just a commercial. And it's one that plays on emotions - specifically, the fears of a guy that he may accidentally forget an important event in the mind of the woman he loves. The commercial was cleverly written to trigger that common male fear into a specific action - that of buying something for his woman right now!

As I listened to that commercial I realized that no matter what stage of life we're in, it's never perfect. When it comes to Valentine's Day, singles tend to dread it because it is a reminder of what they don't have. Men with a wife or girlfriend fear it because they feel clueless about meeting the anticipations of the woman they love. And their female counterparts wonder nervously if their guy will come up with something that meets their romantic expectations, rather than appreciating their efforts as true expressions of their love. I wonder how many people actually end up feeling adequately loved and appreciated on this day set aside to express love. How we put so much at stake on one day is amazing.

And that is exactly the problem. We allow our expectations of the actions of imperfect people on one specific day of the year to be a measuring stick to tell us how much we are loved, or how worthwhile we are, or how adequate we are in expressing our love. It is a man-made holiday that has evolved into a money-making event, and we allow it to affect us much more deeply than it deserves.

Whether married or dating or single, there is only one source of perfect love, and that is God Himself. God IS love, the Bible tells us (I John 4:8, 16). The more we realize how much we are loved and accepted by Him, the less an event called Valentine's Day can affect our feelings of being lovable or adequate. If someone doesn't meet up to our expectations, or if someone doesn't appreciate the efforts we've made, or if there's no one in our life to expect anything from - it doesn't change how deeply we are loved and accepted by God.

Human love is important, and we all need to be able to give and receive love in human relationships. But our deep need for love can never be adequately filled by another human, no matter what that relationship is or how good it is. It can only be completely met in God Himself. When we realize down deep that we are completely loved and accepted by Him, we also realize that what another human being does or does not do cannot destroy the fact that we are loved and accepted. It frees us to love others, because our worth is not dependent on whether or not they love us back. We are already secure in God's love.

It sounds idealistic, doesn't it? I've known this for years, and yet I still am affected by others' actions, and by the messages this time of year that say someone should be doing this or that to tell me how much I am loved. I imagine that you are affected by these things, too. I have a hunch that as long as we are here on this earth, our imperfect selves will struggle to not succumb to those tugs on our emotions. At times it will be more of a struggle than others. But neither these messages nor our emotional struggles negate the truth of God's perfect love and acceptance - a truth we can come back to time and time again.

"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deuteronomy 33:27)

© 2008 Fern Horst

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