Posted by Cattdogg on December 04, 2007 at 23:44:11:
Hi! I feel selfish asking for prayer, but I heard a message today about how God helped someone b/c they humbled themselves and asked someone for prayer about something when they were trying to handle it on their own. I have really been trying to overcome negativity and hopelessness in my life, I've been bombarding myself with messages, and begging God for help, but due to some recent events, I'm just overwhelmed.
My job is very "iffy" right now (a lot of my type of work has been being outsourced to India), and I fear layoffs, even though I know I can trust God to find me something better, for some reason the fear is still there. I've been looking for a job, sending resumes out, and NO ONE has called!!!! I can't even get an interview... PlusI lost a steady freelance client today, b/c he loved my work but he decided to hire a full-time designer who will now be handling everything!!!! I wish he had told me he was even hiring!
In addition, this week, my best friend - my last "single friend" and who I spend most of my time with, got engaged. I am thrilled for her, and the guy she is marrying is wonderful....but all the love i see between them and her new found happiness has brought to the surface everything I feel that is going wrong... I feel like I am at the bottom of my life, and fear that if I lose my job, I'll lose everything financially and have to move back in with my parents at 37 years old!
I feel like she is on the way up and I am on the way down, and I'm so scared of ending up completely alone. I have not met/dated anyone in almost 20 years and in my own eyes, I just can't see that it's going to happen, and I feel really hopeless about my job! So far God has helped me to "put on a happy face" around my best friend (she asked me to be her maid of honor), and support her - which I begged him to do last week b/c in my own strength I think I would fall apart. I want to be there for her, b/c she is a wonderful friend. However, most of my "single friends" that have gotten married I am not friends with anymore b/c they changed after getting married and spent most of their time hanging out with other couples or people with kids (after they had kids). I am so scared that it will happen with this one, even though she has assured me a million times that it won't happen, and they are not planning on having kids so she doesn't have to worry about her wanting to hang out with kid people. I don't have many friends, so the loss of one more is an overwhelming thought.
Anyway, I just need a little prayer help! I've talked to God and he knows, but I don't really have a human I can talk to as I don't want to say anything to my friend and spoil her happy time! Please pray that I find a new job soon, or at least know in what direction to go in - and that God will give me the breakthrough that I need to be able to get through this time in my life, and also that be genuinely happy for my friend and put my fears aside! I asked God that I can see things through His eyes, but each day this week, I've recieved bad news for myself and I'm just having a hard time holding it together.
Thank you so much!!!!!