Posted by Sofia on January 30, 2008 at 06:41:18:
In Reply to: therapy and healing posted by PatrPat on June 23, 2007 at 21:08:06:
Hi Pat,
I really am feeling with you,
with what you are going through.
Was quite surprised to read your story,
seemed like some ones wrote mine.
I myself have gone seemingly through the same thing.
For several years I’ve been in relationship with one man.
He is a good Christian man.
Our relationship started from just a good friendship.
But then in has developed into more intimate relationship,
neither of us planned it so … but it just went,
little by little and brought into intimate contact with each other.
With this relationship I’ve lost my own virginity.
We madly have fallen in love with each other and deeply were sorry for wrong we have been doing.
After a while our relationship weren’t so much good to us.
We spend all time we could with each other; friends,
our life occupation wasn’t of interest to us any more.
Soon our relationship only grew to bitterness,
fights,
frustration.
We were very confused because new that we loved each other so much but for some reason hurt each other even more.
Couldn’t live in a lie any more therefore confessed our sin before the Lord and each other.
First tried to resolve and reconcile our relationship before God and with each other.
But it didn’t really work.
Farther more,
even though great shame was upon our shoulders we’ve decided to confess it before trusting believers and ask for help.
It wasn’t easy,
but I believe Lord was just moving us to do so.
Pat,
am praying that Lord Himself will embrace each of you fox,
I pray that Lord himself would take hold of each of your hearts,
minds and souls and bring change into your lives.
I know it isn’t easy,
and at times it is hard to think straight.
This whole situation with my past relationship has brought me into such a difficult condition that I had to sick for professional Christian counseling and farther down I was analyzed with severe depression with which I deal till this day.
The hardest thing was to see hope,
to see hope for better … But I pray that Lord would interfere in your situation and will do what ever there needs to be done to bring both of you guys to reconciliation with Himself and with each other.
In my relationship neither of us was actually were able to resolve the situation,
we thought we could,
but end up only being more broken and lost.
For us it meant to go apart,
to stop any contact and promise each other that we would start taking care of ourselves and let God deal separately with each of us.
For you I pray that Lord himself will direct you.
In this relationship that I was in I felt like I’ve betrayed God,
that I’ve intentionally have rejected him and that God for some moment really did made a step back away from me.
I can’t even describe how it felt,
it even worse then any darkness,
than death … Also I had to survive the separation with that man,
I really loved him and still do.
Those months also were a deep darkness for me.
But now I can clearly say that loosing God is the most painful and horrible thing that can ever happen to me.
I really hope and pray that neither of you would need to experience it.
But if you still find yourself at this point,
I pray that you will have faith in God,
that you would put all your hope on Him and trust Him,
that he won’t let go of you and that he will do what ever it takes to bring you back.
My prayers are with you my dear brother … there is a way out, but we only need to let our Lord lead us out, and let him lead us out the way He sees is the best.
Sincerely,
Sofia