Newjoy, thanks for your submission, & for your honesty. There's one important point, which I didn't see anyone mentioning except Hawk.
Remember where God see Adam, & says it's not good for him to be alone? Adam *WALKED* with God----more closely than anyone even can nowdays----clearly saw Him, & talked with Him, etc. & *YET*, God said it's not good to be alone. Something that God has shone me----& it's taken me *YEARS* to realize it (cause many in the church, do not help with this!) is that
God alone, is not enough. (yes, you heard me right. ) We've heard countless in the church, say, "all you need is Jesus", but they're wrong. If we were in *HEAVEN*, IN-PERSON with Jesus (remember the difference, between an in-person relationship, & a LD one?) that would be true, but, right now, it's not. Now, we "see through a glass darkly, but THEN, face to face. " (I Corinth 13---the LOVE chapter----great chapter for singles!)
Learning to "love God with all you've got" is great, & in fact, is what Jesus commanded us to do. (heart, soul, & mind) But, to be satisfied "by Him alone", may be asking too much of yourself. I'm not suggesting you forget your "fast", but, it needs to be realistic, & in line with God's word.
God created us a social beings---even men, who some claim aren't very sociable.
Just because you see a *MAN* (OMG!
doesn't mean he has to be your BF, or, even be considered for the position.
Learn to appreciate men as God's creation; as fellow heirs with you, in the grace of God; as brothers in Christ. (you wouldn't have fantasies about your brother, right?) Remember the verse, "sticks closer than a BOYFRIEND? " Oh, so that's not right? It's "closer than a BROTHER." Spend time with men (in groups, I don't think you're ready for a 1-on-1 friendship) & with women. As Hawk suggested, there are many activities you can do---find something that you can share with other believers---yes, even with men. Sports, Bible studies, games, etc. Mission trips aren't for everyone, & if you're still desiring men sexually, they're probably a bad idea. Start with your brothers in Christ where you live, in your neighborhood, your church, etc. Personally, I find it helps to talk to people online, helps us keep from being so isolated. (remember, God created people, to *NEED* people!)
Make God your 1st priority (time, energy, etc) & then feel free to spend time with (CHRISTIAN) men. Contrary to popular belief, being single isn't easy for guys either. Maybe some of the guys you know, are struggling with being single, & "loving God with all they have." Ask guys if they want to talk about it (again, in groups, 1-on-1 can provide too much temptation for you, IMHO.)---it's not so easy for many guys to share, esp about emotional issues. Tell them what you're doing to strengthen your walk with God, & ask them what they're doing, etc.
Here's another suggestion: find men who're feeling down, bad about themselves, etc (there's lots out there!) & tell them what you love & admire about men, & about them as a man in particular. We are to "build one another up", but few ever take the time to do it.
Personally, I wish there were more women like you where I live----I've known so many women (even many claiming to be "Christian" who've basically come to *HATE* men, & it shows, in their actions, & in their words.
REMEMBER: Think "BROTHER IN CHRIST" (not BF!) & once you get that down firmly in your head, & in your heart, your actions will follow.
God Bless, & stay true to Jesus!
